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Lucas Max Bernd von Bleifuß, more commonly known as Emperor Woodgrain Gerbil, aka. The Headmaster is the leader of the Secession Brigade of Reinickendorf (SBR), student of the ancient Latin language and since the 15th of july 2018 emperor of the Wester Island Empire. He's the son of the legendary leadfoot Stitch Jones and great-great-great-grandson of Old Joe.

Personality[]

Woodgrain Gerbil is known for his peculiar sense of humour. He likes to create personality cults. The most worrisome kind of cult was made up around the german dadaist Kurt Schwitters. In those times he would end every sentence with the word "MERZ!", which is a derivation from the name of the german bank "COMMERZBANK", made by Kurt Schwitters himself. Woodgrain Gerbil seems like quite the well-behaved, charming and strait-laced kind of man. But if one gets the chance to make deeper contact with him, the vile essence of his morbid humour shines through his fine sheet of neat skin. He also likes to wear suits in order to cover his proletarian background and he's especially known for his urge to correct other people for he's a notorious knowitall; but that's probably because of his ambitions of attaining the teacher profession. Also he's terribly old-fashioned, likes to watch black and white films and listens to music of the 60s, because he's so extremely individual. He's mostly a quite polite guy, except with his best friend Johann, which sometimes has to serve as a personal slave for him. When it comes to him playing games like League Of Legends or Overwatch, that calm and polite guy becomes the definition of the tourette syndrom. If Woodgrain Gerbil ist confronted with communists, he starts to get some sorts of vietnam flashbacks, for his whole university is plastered with those plus third wave feminists and other social justice warriors. In his times of school, he often got into arguments with his fellow students by criticising the idea of communism and political correctness, as they always result in censorship of speech and deprivation of the freedom of thought. Therefore he developed some kind of allergy against those weird red fashists - especially against german politicians Katja Kipping, Renate Künast and Andrea Nahles. He spent his youth in the blissful realms of Reinickendorf.

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